Crazy Love

So for the past 8 months I have been attempting to read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It's not that the book is hard to read, it's just I haven't had much time for pleasure reading. So after several months of not reading it, I picked it up again last night. The few chapters I read were really inspirational. Since I haven't blogged for a while, I figured I might as well blog about my thought and reactions. Hopefully this won't be too informal of a blog for you and I don't miss the author's point...because apparently reflection papers (I mean blogs) are not about having opinions and arguments that aren't on target with the reader's interpretation. (Sorry, a little bitterness attached to reflection papers from a class this summer that were given poor grades).

The main idea I got from the chapters I read is in what way am I showing love to God? The people who are most important in my life receive most of my attention. They are the people who I'll wake up at 4:30 in the morning to take to the airport, the people who I take out to dinner when they are having a rough day or week, the people who I set aside all other priorties for. When it comes to God, do I do those things? Sure I go to church a couple times a week, volunteer and help out with youth, live out my faith (to the best of my ability) in my interactions at work, school, home,and social outings. I show people love, grace, and patience (although there are times where I fail miserably with these things). I pray everyday and am sure to give God praise where praise is due. I am doing my best to live out the life that God has called me to. But do I really show Him how important He is to me? When I get busy and stressed, what is the first thing I let go to get stuff done? Is it an hour or two of my bedtime or morning? Is it my random movie nights with friends or Halo time with Sarah? I mean there are times I let these things go in order to get what needs to be done, done. But are they the first? I have found that the first thing I give up for extra time is my own personal alone time with God.

Whoa! That thought just hit me like a bag of bricks. My alone time with God is the first thing I give up in order to have more time for the other activities in my life. Granted God has called me to school, and wants me to work as if I'm working for Him. But did He call me to give up my alone time with Him? From my experience and what I have learned through church and Bible classes, God absolutely loves me and loves spending time with me. I know this, and nothing is going to change that. But do I show Him that I love Him and love spending time with Him no matter what and nothing is going to change that? Chan gave the example in his book of his little girl running out of the house to greet him in the driveway when he would come home. Do I act that way to God? I know I used to do that with my dad when I was little, but it doesn't seem I'm acting that way towards God. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love God with all my heart, soul, and mind. If I didn't, I wouldn't be where I am at today.

Basically, the point I'm trying to make is that I need, no, I WANT to be that little girl with God. When it comes to having a busy life, God should remain my number one priority. I should strive for that time alone with Him. If He was my best friend, I would wake up at 4:30AM just to take Him to the airport even though my sleep time is precious to me. I think my goal this next week (that if I achieve, I'll be sure to continue for longer than a week) will be to wake up even 30 min earlier (or more) just to have time to spend with God. I know I'm not a morning person...I'm probably one of the grouchiest people first thing, and I'm not at my best. Does God care if I'm not running full steam? No, He loves me. I need to show it to Him. He wants my worst and my best. I think He wants me to be able to sacrifice something that I hold dear (yes, sleep is that important to me) just to spend time with Him.

So here I go. I'm running after God in every area of my life. I'm not allowing other priorities (although they are important and God does want me to have them) to get in the way of my number one priority. God is in the driveway, getting out of His car as I leave the window running full steam out the door to greet Him.