Trust in the Lord Always and Again I Say Rejoice

So last night I was rereading the story of Joseph. Everytime I read it, I just shake my head at Joseph when it gets to the part about him telling his family about his dream. His brothers were already so jealous of him, yet he had to go and tell them about how in his dream they were bowing to him. We all know how the story goes, his brothers sell him into slavery, he then has a run in with Potiphar's wife which lands him in prison, and then eventually he interprets a dream for Pharaoh and then he gets placed into a position that when his brothers come asking for food during the famine they have to bow to him.

As I read the story again last night, I got to thinking about Joseph's life. He seemed to have it all, afteral he was the favorite son of Jacob. He was probably a pretty spoiled kid. Probably got a way with a lot of things. Then he has this awesome dream which God pretty tells him he will rule over his brothers. All of a sudden, all that is taken away from him. He gets put in a pit and sold into slavery. Of course he works his way up the food chain, but just as he's towards the top, Potiphar's wife gets in the way and he gets pushed back down that totem pole. He lands in prison, happens to interpret two dreams for two men. The interpretations come true. The one who is still alive forgets all about Joseph until Pharaoh has a dream that needs to be interpreted. And then suddenly Joseph comes right back on top and interprets the dream and lands a nice powerful position.

All this time, I can only imagine what was going on in Joseph's head. Here he had a promise from God, yet it seemed nothing was working out for him. How easy it must have been to lose faith and trust in God especially in the time he was in the pit or in prison. At least I know that is where I would have struggled. I always pride myself in being able to see the positive side of things, but where is the positive in being thrown into a pit by your brothers? Maybe that he could have been murdered so the fact he was still alive was good? There isn't really any detail in the Bible story as to what was going through Joseph's mind, but what we do know is that God was there for him. He was there for him in that pit. He was there for him in prison. He was there for him when he was a servant. He was there for him when he worked for Pharaoh. In the end, God was faithful in his promise to Joseph.

How many times in our own lives do we hear the promises of God, yet because we have those days (weeks, months, or years) where we are down in that pit, we lose our trust and hope in God? I have always found it easy to tell myself and others around me, "God is always faithful. He has proven Himself faithful in the past, and He will continue so in the future." But trusting in that is another thing. Last year I went to Kenya on a missions trip. Towards the end of my time there we got to witness a shooting and then riots right outside where we were staying. The night it happened we went out to eat right after the shooting. When we got ready to head back, we were told there were riots, gun fire, rocks being thrown, tear gas, the works... When they decided it would be ok for us to head back because we were going to be escorted by the tourist police (keep in mind the riots were people rioting against the police and government), I lost it. I was an emotional wreck. All I kept thinking is, "I'm going to die a brutal death and not get the chance to tell my parents goodbye." I was scared to death. On our way back that evening everyone was scared (although I think I was in the worst shape out of everyone, basically balling in the back seat of that van). We decided in our van to sing worship songs on our way because when the Israelites went to war, they'd send those who sang hymns out first to lead the way. Amongst the worshiping, there was also tons of prayer. Towards the end of the drive God suddenly asked me, "Amanda, what were you just telling those students earlier today before you left?" "I told them to remember that you have been faithful to them in the past and that you will continue to be faithful to your promises so to keep trusting in you..." "And what are you currently doing?" "Not listening to my own advice" And right then admist that conviction of my heart, I suddenly felt peace. I was able to give God all my trust in the situation. I think because all this time in my life, I've had other people to trust alongside God. This was the first time God was all who I could trust and rely on. Definitely a life changing experience.

Psalm 40:1-2 "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."

Your Will Be Done

With my birthday coming up tomorrow and a new year started, I have been doing a lot of thinking about where my life is now compared to where I was just a year ago and compared to where I would have thought I would be as well as what the future holds. When I was in 6th grade, my goal in life was to be a kindergarten teacher. Before then I wanted to be a doctor, missionary, or a pastor. I think at one point I figured out I could be a missionary who would preach the gospel, be a doctor to the sick, and a school teacher. (I hated choosing one over the other so I figured I could do them all) Well I didn't go to school to be a teacher, doctor, or missionary/pastor. Instead I chose to go into the psychology field. When the end of my senior year rolled around, the idea of becoming a therapist popped into my mind. I had friends who always asked for my advice. I think this was God's way of showing me what He wanted me to do. Sure enough, I fell in love with my first few psychology classes.

When it came to deciding on a school to go to, I had a desire to attend Evangel since I was in junior high. Nothing in particular really made me want to attend there, but there was just something that I felt saying that is where I need to go. That something must have been God. Of course when high school graduation came along, I really wanted to begin my freshman year at Evangel, but my parents convinced me to do a community college for 2 years (something that was way cheaper and ended up being free for me). That desire to go to Evangel never left me.

Once at Evangel I had my ups and downs of loving it and being so homesick, I didn't know how I'd make it through the semester. I knew I needed to start applying for grad school, and I felt God calling me to stay at Evangel for that. I had no idea how I'd make it another two years being far away from home. I constantly was in prayer asking God to help me with the ache in my heart to be at home if I am to stay in Missouri longer. By this time last year, I had finally made my decision to complete my graduate work at Evangel, after all that is where God wanted me. This was probably one of the hardest decisions in my life because what I wanted didn't quite line up with what God wanted. In the end I knew I needed to submit my will to God's, and when I did, everything started to fall into place. I found a roommate in one of my classes, at the end of the semester I found a temporary full time job for the summer, and then my temporary position then became and open permanent position that I was offered. God just began opening up doors for me.

God also has helped me with my homesickness. Throughout the summer, I would go home at least one weekend a month (sometimes two). I really missed my church back home. I had begun going to North Point halfway through the last spring semester and really enjoyed it, but it still wasn't "my church". I also really missed all of my friends who were and are still very close to me. At the end of the summer I finally got plugged into North Point. God had been telling me all summer long that I need to start helping out at church here, but I wasn't sure if I was up for a commitment since I still was going home often and classes were going to start up in the fall. Finally God made it so I had no excuse. Randomly (well more of a 'God thing') at the end of service one morning, the guy sitting near me stopped me on my way out and asked if I would be interested in helping out in the student ministries. This was my opportunity to get involved and I took it. I now feel as if North Point is "my church." Not only am I serving the people in the church, I have made some great friends. I still get homesick and do miss my friends back home, but I actually feel like I belong here and have a great life here. This is definitely God's way of helping me deal with my anxiety of being away from home so I can concentrate on His plan for my life.

Now that I've given my life story (well not quite my life story, but it is still long), I guess I should get to the point. God's will and plan for my life is far different than I could have imagined it to be. I still find myself worrying about where I will be and what I will be doing in a year when I am finishing up my Masters. Considering at this time last year, I would have no idea I would be where I am today with my job, my friends, and even my spiritual growth. A lot could happen in a year. The great thing is that God has an awesome plan for my life. I just have to be willing to submit myself to His will. All wisdom is God's. What is wonderful is that He loves and cares for me, so I know His plan for my life is far greater than any plan I could try to create myself. He knows what he is doing, I just have to seek His face.

Isaiah 48:17 "This is what the Lord says--your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you waht is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.'"

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

I'm excited to see what God has planned for me for the next year :)

Beginning of a New Blog

About a year or so ago I started another blog. I didn't do a great job in updating that blog and when I did, I had a tendency to ramble on and on about things in my life or just talked about silly things. I decided to start a new blog and be a bit more serious about it. I'm sure my sarcasm and a little bit of humor will appear here and there, but I really want to share about my own personal walk with God.

I have been attending North Point since March, and at the end of the summer began getting involved helping out with the youth. This church is the kind that actually practices what it preaches. It is all about outreach to the community and I love it. Pastor Tommy also stresses the importance of self-feeding. I just purchased a prayer journal for the year and I hope that it will really help me to keep growing closer to God. I also am a part of a small connect group. I'm really excited to continue on in that throughout this year. Fellowship with other Christians is stressed throughout the New Testament.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with this blog, but I highly doubt it will be updated daily. I'm hoping for at least one post a week, but with working 40 hours, taking 10 credit hours of class, helping with youth, and being a part of a connect group this semester, you will have to forgive me if I miss a week here and there. I do hope that my blog will be able to be an encouragement to others and a way for me to write down my thoughts.