Your Will Be Done

With my birthday coming up tomorrow and a new year started, I have been doing a lot of thinking about where my life is now compared to where I was just a year ago and compared to where I would have thought I would be as well as what the future holds. When I was in 6th grade, my goal in life was to be a kindergarten teacher. Before then I wanted to be a doctor, missionary, or a pastor. I think at one point I figured out I could be a missionary who would preach the gospel, be a doctor to the sick, and a school teacher. (I hated choosing one over the other so I figured I could do them all) Well I didn't go to school to be a teacher, doctor, or missionary/pastor. Instead I chose to go into the psychology field. When the end of my senior year rolled around, the idea of becoming a therapist popped into my mind. I had friends who always asked for my advice. I think this was God's way of showing me what He wanted me to do. Sure enough, I fell in love with my first few psychology classes.

When it came to deciding on a school to go to, I had a desire to attend Evangel since I was in junior high. Nothing in particular really made me want to attend there, but there was just something that I felt saying that is where I need to go. That something must have been God. Of course when high school graduation came along, I really wanted to begin my freshman year at Evangel, but my parents convinced me to do a community college for 2 years (something that was way cheaper and ended up being free for me). That desire to go to Evangel never left me.

Once at Evangel I had my ups and downs of loving it and being so homesick, I didn't know how I'd make it through the semester. I knew I needed to start applying for grad school, and I felt God calling me to stay at Evangel for that. I had no idea how I'd make it another two years being far away from home. I constantly was in prayer asking God to help me with the ache in my heart to be at home if I am to stay in Missouri longer. By this time last year, I had finally made my decision to complete my graduate work at Evangel, after all that is where God wanted me. This was probably one of the hardest decisions in my life because what I wanted didn't quite line up with what God wanted. In the end I knew I needed to submit my will to God's, and when I did, everything started to fall into place. I found a roommate in one of my classes, at the end of the semester I found a temporary full time job for the summer, and then my temporary position then became and open permanent position that I was offered. God just began opening up doors for me.

God also has helped me with my homesickness. Throughout the summer, I would go home at least one weekend a month (sometimes two). I really missed my church back home. I had begun going to North Point halfway through the last spring semester and really enjoyed it, but it still wasn't "my church". I also really missed all of my friends who were and are still very close to me. At the end of the summer I finally got plugged into North Point. God had been telling me all summer long that I need to start helping out at church here, but I wasn't sure if I was up for a commitment since I still was going home often and classes were going to start up in the fall. Finally God made it so I had no excuse. Randomly (well more of a 'God thing') at the end of service one morning, the guy sitting near me stopped me on my way out and asked if I would be interested in helping out in the student ministries. This was my opportunity to get involved and I took it. I now feel as if North Point is "my church." Not only am I serving the people in the church, I have made some great friends. I still get homesick and do miss my friends back home, but I actually feel like I belong here and have a great life here. This is definitely God's way of helping me deal with my anxiety of being away from home so I can concentrate on His plan for my life.

Now that I've given my life story (well not quite my life story, but it is still long), I guess I should get to the point. God's will and plan for my life is far different than I could have imagined it to be. I still find myself worrying about where I will be and what I will be doing in a year when I am finishing up my Masters. Considering at this time last year, I would have no idea I would be where I am today with my job, my friends, and even my spiritual growth. A lot could happen in a year. The great thing is that God has an awesome plan for my life. I just have to be willing to submit myself to His will. All wisdom is God's. What is wonderful is that He loves and cares for me, so I know His plan for my life is far greater than any plan I could try to create myself. He knows what he is doing, I just have to seek His face.

Isaiah 48:17 "This is what the Lord says--your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you waht is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.'"

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

I'm excited to see what God has planned for me for the next year :)