Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Don't Wanna.....

So my blog today is inspired by my lack of motivation to complete tasks the past couple of weeks...

Here at work (yes I'm going to start some financial aid talk) we have been using and developing all new processes for paying out aid since we had to switch to the Direct Loan program (if you don't know what it is, do some research on Google). Since it is all new for me and my coworker, we constantly have to call over to the processing office at the Department of Ed for loans with questions. The frustrating part is that you get different answers depending on who you talk to. Of course this is due to the fact they have a buttload of new workers to take on the increase of work due to every school in the country switching to Direct Loans and its hard to train people that quickly. My coworker and I constantly complain about our frustration. "They don't know what they are talking about," "The guy wouldn't even let me ask the question before telling me it's not their issue but our system."

Tuesday my coworker was put on hold while calling this processing office for a while. She took a look at her email on her phone while patiently wating (and by patiently waiting I mean she was emailing me and complaining). She then saw an email forward she had received and forwarded it to me. It was a daily devotion and the verse of the day was Philippians 2:14,
"Do everything without complaining."
How fitting for the current situation?

Philippians 2:14-16 "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold outthe word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."


I find myself complaining a lot. Just last week I was complaining that I had to sit in class and miss the new episodes of some of my favorite tv shows (Big Bang Theory and the Office). I was complaining because not only did I have a rough day at work and internship, but I came home late to a freezer door standing wide open with everything melted and thawed out thanks to a crazy cat that meant I had to clean out the freezer and buy all new food to replace what was ruined. I was complaining because I am just so exhausted and just want sleep. My complaining had gotten worse...normally I just complain to those around me and the occasional tweet, but the complaining had now shown itself to every other tweet. All last Thursday my tweets had one theme: I just want to be at home watching tv and not sitting in this lame class. Was the class really lame? No, not at all. If I had been focusing in class, I would have learned some valuable information that I will need in my future career. At the time I considered it lame because I wasn't able to do what I wanted instead. I was like the little kid who wasn't getting her way with her arms folded and stomping her foot saying in the most obnoxious, whiney voice possible, "But I don't wanna!"

God has called me to school to become a counselor. He has provided me with a wonderful job that helps pay for school and other bills and also have benefits. He has provided me with a great internship that works around my job and class schedule. Did he call me to complain about these blessings just because I'm exhausted, grouchy, or missing out on hanging out with friends or watching my favorite tv shows (I really can just catch up watching them online too...)?
"Do everything without complaining."
I think these things I've listed fall under the everything category.

Instead of complaining about all the stuff on my plate, I should embrace it. God called me to do something, and I should do it whole-heartedly, not half-heartedly. As I think about my semester of classes, I began to realize how much I love my classes this fall. I'm learning to apply everything that I've been taught the past 5 years of psychology classes. My Thursday night class is teaching me how to diagnose. Not only is it interesting, it's probably one of the most useful things I need to know when it comes to meeting with future clients.

One of the things I'm working with one of my internship clients about is changing her perspectives on current situations. I'm trying to get her to see the good side of situations that she sees as horrible. Some of the current situations may not be the best, but finding a way to see a positive side of it helps take the focus on the negative. If all she sees is the negative, then life will be miserable and without hope. I think I need to take a step back and listen to what I tell some of my clients. I need to "practice what I preach."

Sorry God, I complain a lot. Here you've blessed me with so much, and I find ways to complain about it. Help turn my attitude around and embrace your blessings.

1 comment:

  1. That's such a great post, Manders. I find my self complaining more and more too! When in reality I should be thanking God for the blessings that he has poured out on me. I wonder how much it hurts God's feelings when he hears us complain all the time about things that are supposed to make us happy? Sigh. I also find myself wishing the days away instead of enjoying every moment. Sounds like we both need to really work on stuff. Let's keep each other accountable!!

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